After the crushing defeat of the Rock Star Pageant, Mama
decides that it’s time for Honey Boo Boo Child to get a new wig for her next
big pageant. They are convinced
that part of her losing streak is due to her looks. The first wig she tried on was described as a wiglet. She has so much fun, that the whole
family decides to try on some!
Mama tries on a long blonde one, and it got Sugar Bear all tingly, and
he said, “I want to jump some bones!”
I will not be able to get his look of pure giddiness out of my head for
the next few days. Even Sugar Bear
decided to join in on the fun. The
employee at the store said this family is a little outside the box. Yes, the wig store employee said that
they were weird. It’s funny how
after an hour she has this family’s number!
In
order to beat the summer heat of Macon Georgia, Sugar Bear decides to buy the
kids a pool. His philosophy is as
long as they are staying cool, they will bug him less. He wants this to be a family affair, so
the family pulls some furniture outside to give Sugar Bear some orders. Mama says that being voluptuous doesn’t
mix well with these 100+ degree-days.
She says it messes with her appetite, and that’s why she doesn’t
eat. According to last week’s
weigh in, the scale would say otherwise.
They finally put the pool up, and Alana thinks that she is more fish
than human. Sugar Bear has a
prediction that the pool won’t last two months before they destroy it. Two hours later, they are using duct
tape to seal a leak in the pump hose.
Sugar
Bear wants to treat the family to a sit down’ dinner, so they go to a real nice
BBQ house. Sugar Bear thinks that
family time is extremely important, since he has to work 7 days a week. Honey Boo Boo is confused though. She wants BBQ, but she also wants
chicken and ribs. She said her
meal comes with two sides, and she wants those two sides to be meat! The waitress is polite and takes their
order, and Honey Boo Boo just says it’s okay because we are fat! To which Sugar Bear responds, “We are
not fat, we are pleasingly plump!”
Of course everyone has to correct him, but I think they should just
leave him alone! Pumpkin shows off
her etiquette lessons by dowsing her side of potato chips in ketchup. Mama admits that the food is good, but
not as good as couponing!
Chickadee then asks her why she is so scared to get married to Sugar
Bear. She says family is first,
and she puts her kids above everything else. Well, right after couponing and BBQ! They have been dating for 8 years, and
Pumpkin is convinced that Sugar Bear is Honey Boo Boo’s and her biological
father.
 |
| The family that eats together.... |
For
the 4th of July festivities, the family decides to go to Lake
Tobesotkee for food, fun and fireworks!
They have never been there, and they are excited to check out the
locals. Mama decides to show off
some of her hidden fashion secrets.
She sports the redneck air conditioner. It’s essentially a wet towel wrapped around the head like a
hair band. Her selling point is
that it is an all-in-one accessory that keeps you cool, wet, and it’s perfect for
a wet t-shirt contest. Honey Boo
Boo decides that she wants to become a lifeguard. She gets a lesson from one of the local lifeguards, and she
goes on a power trip with her whistle.
Later that night they are all entertained with an awesome firework
show. Alana says it’s the best day
of her life, and she describes it as raining colors!
 |
| A good deal in a dumpster? |
The
family decides to meet at Crazy Tony’s to have a fish fry. They weren’t able to get together for
Independence Day, so they decide to BBQ and eat outside on Crazy Tony’s lovely
living room furniture. After
dinner, everyone decides to jump on his or her four wheelers to get a good deal
at the local department store. I
thought they would get some more expired junk food, but the Wilkinson County
department store turns out to be the local landfill. Despite the warning signs advising them of the hazards, they
decide to dumpster dive for some local treasures. They find a baby crib, which they said would be great for
the baby, but I am pretty sure they left it there. Sugar Bear did have a fun time playing in it though! Honey Boo Boo is convinced that if they
had a Dumpster Diva Pageant, that she would win the whole thing! She would too, as she would be the only
one brave enough to enter. Crazy
Tony finds a used mattress, and rolls Pumpkin in it! Honey Boo Boo then confesses in her interview that Pumpkin
gets all of her clothes from this local department store! This is beyond my worst nightmare. I thought I was most scared of evil
spirits, but this show has enlightened me to the fact that I should be afraid
of spending a weekend with the Boo Boo’s.
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